Dirty Holi

I played Holi today, finally after 2 years, the way I wanted to. Down and dirty. I came back home a mixture of black, purple and pink. Not to mention my hair clogged with mud. It was bad!!! As in, it was actually good.
But I also noticed quite a few things. I was very happy with the amount of colour I had on me, and yet I was disappointed. Holi in my apartment complex was a different experience and I wasn't sure I fully liked it. Now, I know I don't mix easily, and I don't have many friends in the complex. But I had gone down with hopes that today was not a day of how many people one knew. Sadly, I found, it was. Community spirit? Dead. Non-existent. I went downstairs to the field fully armed with bucket, pichkari and abir. And for a full 15 mins stood feeling awkward and distant. There was no one I could approach to begin festivities and for a moment i had a sinking feeling that this was going to be another one of those disappointing Holis where I was the only one with enthusiasm and ended up broken hearted because of others' lack thereof. Thus, I jumped when I saw a couple of acquaintances from college and somehow, awkwardly managed to invite myself to play with them. Then the fun began. I got doused, painted and dragged through mud, and enjoyed every moment of it. But camaraderie was too innocuously missing from the crowd. Everyone was huddled in their own known group and wouldn't even accidentally squirt an unknown!! My acquaintance's friends too, didn't seem to want to involve me as we hadn't been officially introduced!
Also, some old school friends turned up and as usual, the growing distance between us made itself felt. (Sigh)
Maybe it was just me. Maybe I had expected too much. I mean, I'm not that good at mixing with people either.
My grandmother told me today that she had not seen a single person in our para come out to play Holi and not a single person with any colour about them.
(Sigh) What is Holi coming to these days??
Even in the space of the holiday, it seems, strangers can't be friends.