Saturday, January 28, 2006

Episode IV: A New Stalker

Why are we talking about stalkers? Shall I rush to "A"'s defense and denounce all of you? Or, can I not be bothered enough in this matter.

I think that I will choose the latter. Toodolooo !!!!

Fraction 6: Albeit........

There one other thing I have to report which deserves a completely new space.
You might have read about this in a few other blogs, but having been an eye-witness, I too swore to put up my report.
Yesterday, a certain friend ( let's call him A, shall we??), came up to a group of us sitting idly on the ledge (as usual!!!) in a bit of a flurry. For a few days, hithertofore, he had been plaguing us with a story of an internet stalker he had on his tail, who had apparently "freaked him out" by sending him pictures of herself in her underwear.For my information, refresh my memory if you will, but if a girl sends a (horny??!!!) guy naked pics, doesn't he happily and willingly bite the bait???!!! Strange, if u ask me!
Anyway, yesterday, he came to us with the news that he had found his stalker who had introduced herself rather shamelessly to him by accosting him in the corridor with "Hi! I sent you the pictures, remember...........?" Conclusions jumped to, he had come running to us in the afore-mentioned state of flurry.
Now we, being we, had expressed a keen interest in this "stalker", so he had rushed off to fetch her for us and to prove his story to the world!!!
And here comes the good part. My friend A, produced before us a rather innocent young dame whom he introduced with "Here! She's the one! She's my stalker!! You've been stalking me!! You're freaking me out!!!" This girl, as all others might be, looked around at all of us with an expression of bemused puzzlement and said in a meek voice "I'm not a stalker. I don't know what he's talking about. I took some pictures for him on my cell phone and sent them to him as he'd asked, and he accosts me claiming I'm a stalker!"
Well! At about the time one considers "too late", realization dawned on my friend A. This was actually a very nice and considerate girl who had quite obligingly sent him photos of himself (not naked!!!) that he'd asked for!!! A first rate faux-pas!!!
Blushing in hilarious embarassment while we were doubled up with laughter, he claimed "Well, that was most certainly a howler. Yes sir, that was most DEFINITELY a howler." !!!!! He rushed off to apologize profusely..........again and returned blushing even more hilariously. " Well, that was exceedingly embarassing", he said.
It was at about this point that all of us present made a solemn vow that THIS had been the blogging moment of the day, and accordingly I have put forward my faithful representation as seen by yours truly!!!

Chapter 5: A Contrast

A record was broken in my life today.
While watching "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King"for the third time in my life, I actually found myself wiping away tears. Folks, this has NEVER happened before!!! A movie made me cry!!!!!Incredible!!!
Also, while watching the movie, I noticed something. Here is its account:
Due to the fact that I have a test on Homer's " Iliad" coming up very soon, I had been endeavouring to acquaint myself with its contents since this morning.And to be completely honest, I found it appalling!!!! There is no word in Elvish, Entish or the Tongues of Men to describe the kind of disgust it wrought in me.
How can a book propagating such intense hatred, be considered the finest work of Western literature?? Maybe I'm missing the point here, but aren't we benumbed by the horrors of human hatred enough ?
I do not claim to be an idealist. War is a reality. Has been since the beginning of human history, and will be till the end of it. I have seen enough of war movies as well as live coverage of violence, read enough of newspapers and heard many news bulletins, to be numbed to its effects by now, like the rest of my generation. People die, and people live, and people kill to survive. Fails to have a significant impact on me.
What does not, however, is genocide. Indiscriminate mass slaughter. Murder of innocents. I suppose the numbing down hasn't been strong enough to deprive me of outrage at this yet. And I am afraid this is what I found in the "Iliad".
To even wish to wipe out an entire people, to burn their homes, desecrate their corpses, make slaves of their innocents and mock them in their defeat, sickens me. As I hope it would, any remotely decent human being.
How can anyone hate so much? Is it possible? For vengeance, yes, I accept hatred can take a murderous form. But here, what do they hate for? A petty issue of pride. For the abduction of one woman, an entire race must needs be wiped out. A race that did not will the abduction in the first place. Now this is just a bit too thick.
And what kind of gods did these Greeks believe in? Gods who for even pettier sakes must abandon mercy and willingly aid and abet manslaughter??!!!! I wonder, if it was believed that these gods created the human race, what kind of immortal sadists are they that they find joy in pitting one against the other and watching with glee a shower of blood? Even helping it on its way? It's enough to make all belief in any religion null and void!!!
I found solace in LOTR after this. Yes, I was treated to yet another spectacle of blood and gore, but the best thing was, pride had no part to play in it. Especially not sickening hubris! War is futile. Men realize this in both, the "Iliad" and LOTR. But in one, pride destroys all while in the other, hope remains after sacrifice to build on. There is a reason to fight in LOTR. As Sam tells Frodo, "There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and that's worth fighting for." In the "Iliad" whatever good there might have been in the world before the war, is effectively destroyed in the course of it.
Historians say the war in Troy never happened. I should sincerely hope so. Human life must not be slain at the altar of human ego. But the fact that the "Iliad" is hailed as the foundational work for the rest of Western literature, I suppose, says a lot about us. Some critics say it is a pacifist epic. How then could it have so effectively portrayed the unslakeable bloodlust of men that has succeeded it in the centuries that have followed?

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Segment 4: Why being 19 is hard

Its hard being 19 years old.
Really!!!!
I swear it!!!!
Well, since you don't believe me, here's why:

When you're 19,
1. You wake up one morning and realize you've still not gotten around to doing all those things you planned when you were 18!!!!

2. You're half way through your first year of college ( hopefully!!!) and you find yourself thinking "What next??"

3. You realize you must must must take that driving test you've been putting off for so long and begin whining for your own car. That way, if you're lucky, you'll get one by the time you're 26!!

4. The amounts of money which, hithertofore, seemed like unforeseen treasure, now doesn't seem half enough. You find yourself beginning to have the eerie feeling that money's slipping through your fingers.

5. At this point, you begin to realize the values of employment, or joining the Mafia.

6. One of two things happens to your sexual appetite. Either you get horny, corny and desperate (like a certain uncle of mine ;)!!!), or sex begins to bore you and you roll your eyes at the mere mention of it and think, like, "Next!!!"

7. You get legally classified under " Officially Ugly" by virtue of the photos clicked for your driver's license and voter ID card!!!

8. You realize for life that it would be a good thing having an alternative to love.

9. Your little nieces and nephews get really annoying!!!!( grrrrrrrrr!!!!!)

10. You realize that in another year you're going to be.............. OLD!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, GOD???!!! I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL!!!!!"

There!
10 reasons!
Now I hope you're convinced!!
If you're still not..........wait till YOU turn 19, you young whippersnapper!!!! (Kids these days!!!!)