Ghore Baire-II

I hate fakes.
I hate fake people, I hate fake things, Ihate fake money, I hate fake smiles. I hate them all.
I may not agree with Holden Caulfield on much, but on this, I do. I hate fakes.

I hate it when a house just feels fake. Not like it cares that you live in it. When it's all made up to show off, but not to live in. As it is, it takes a little getting used to, this whole moving shit, but on top of that, it is announced that in this house, things are going to be perfect; that they'd better be or else. Now that sucks. This house?? Like its something different? Like it's somehow a second chance to make up for the past mistakes made while living in the old place? It can never compare to the old place!!! Now that was home, as I've mentioned before. What's this place? Some swank apartment where people come and gape and say: "Wow! You've done the house up sooooooo beautifully!!" That's what a house is meant for??? BULLSHIT!!!

I hate it when I can't blast my music. I hate it when I can't come home late. I hate it when I can't talk out loud or scream. I hate it when I can't bring my boyfriend back home. I hate it when I'm forbidden to put up posters on my walls because its expensive paint. I give a fuck about neighbours. I wish they didn't exist. This is MY house and I will do what I like in it.

I hate it when a house just becomes an excuse to keep up with the Joneses. Who the fuck cares man? Be your own Jones. Ur pad should be YOURS. Even voiolently so. Make it individual. When people come over, DON'T do it up. Just to show you couldn't care less. It's YOUR house. You shouldn't care anyways. They don't like it, well, there's one door, exit, stage left.

The one thing wrong about our new place is that it feels fake. Not like it intended to. It was made to feel fake. I hate that. I've grown pretty much used to it now, but its kind of a floating adaptation. Like I know it's not going to last anyways. Just a couple of more years. For that, this will have to do. If I go anywhere else, move anyplace else, this will not be the place i will remember. I will remember a place with peeling paint, a magnificent chaat, Zidane's posters, old newspapers, old books, creaking doors, four poster beds, red flooring and the incessant drone of Rashbehari traffic. I don't like too much quiet. I want to KNOW that I'm in a city!

Home is a special place for me. But fakes are like so see-through. Homes should never be made out of fake houses. And that is all I have to say about that.

Ghore Baire

Its been about a month since we've moved base.
That, dear readers, was why I was out of the blogosphere for such an extended period of time, unlike my usually regular habits. No net connection for quite a while.
Well, like it or not, I'M BACK!!!!

As I said, before I diverted, it's been about a month since we moved base. I'm now living in Udita on the Bypass.
I have mixed feelings about this whole moving biz. First of all, this is an apartment, unlike our earlier house. It still feels like a hotel room, as compared to home, but now gradually less so than before.Nevertheless, i've had some good times here. But Rashbehari will always and forever be my home in the sense of home being where the heart is. Arguably I've spent the WORST times of my life there, but some of my fondest memories are also in that there place. Guess it's the same with all homes huh?

I have a feeling Udita will see the same, but I guess it will never be the same. I can adapt, but I've grown up. The adaptation can never be as permanent. I spent the most volatile, formative years in Rashbehari. that's essentially where I grew up and its flavour will be forever linked to the person I am today. I moved in there when I was almost 11, and left after seeing my 19th birthday. I don't have too many clear memories of the house i lived in before that. Some, not a lot.

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that I'd miss my chaat a lot. I did, and I still do. For a few days after coming here, I felt entrapped. Caged even. On my first night in my new apartment, I was forced to pull an all-nighter to finish a term paper. Not exactly the best of beginnings, but there. I do not hastily judge houses. I believe they play an EXTREMELY significant part in shaping the people who live in them.

But I'm still not completely used to this place yet. I still feel a little disoriented in the mornings when I wake up to a different ceiling above me. I doubt if I'll ever be able to regard this as anything but a pale imitation of home. It's funny, but I've discovered an innate psychological resistance to my settling in here. No matter how hard I try, i just cannot get used to the heavy taste of the water around here!! Even after a month!! But that's probably just a lame example. I guess I've passed the age where I could move and be excited about it. Now its just like whatever.

As regards this whole moving biz, I have discovered (the hard way), that it brings out the worst in people. So any time you have the urge to move, don't!

These seem to have become some of the most turbulent times of my life. A dislocation only adds to it. But this is only the beginning. I have a feeling the fun's only started.

LOOKY WHO'S BACK!!!!!!
Sorry I'm late guys, traffic was a killer!
So.............. what'd I miss??

The Gang has deserted Uncle Anc .... sniff sniff....